So every year I ask this question, not as a buzzkill or to be an asshole, but because I truly have struggled with it. I've found arguments both ways via Google, but I'm curious what you, my valued friends with your important opinions think. Background: I was raised in a non-denominational Christian home and I embraced that face pretty seriously until my mid-twenties. I have been a youth pastor, a praise and worship leader and delivered more than one (fact-based) teaching from the pulpit. While I'm an atheist today, old habits die hard and many of my decisions and behaviors continue to be shaped by my upbringing. Ironically, it was college theology studies that ended my run with religion, but that's another story. Enough backstory, let's get to the meat. The following statements are based on my upbringing and are not to be actual facts. I'll avoid citing scripture for now.
The dilemma develops as follows:
1. Sin is sin.
2. There is no lesser sin or greater sin.
3. Lying and murdering are equally sinful.
4. Lying is lying regardless of intent.
5. There is no innocence in a little white lie.
6. Santa Claus is a lie. It's also a myth or story or whatever but let me continue.
7. Telling kids that Santa brings presents is a lie.
8. Telling kids that Santa is watching them is a lie.
9. Telling kids that they better behave or Santa won't bring them any presents is a lie.
10. Threatening to tell on the kids by notifying Santa of their actions is a lie.
11. Elaborate explanations about Santa are additional lies. Examples requiring these lies often include:
A. Different Santas at stores and malls
B. The logistics of traveling to every house
C. The elves making toys
12. I think I've made my point.
I think we've pretty well established that involving Santa in the traditional sense is lying. So what are the implications for us as adults? Here are my biggest concerns, also in list form because it's how I think:
1. There is no biblical basis for lying about Santa.
2. How can we reconcile the lies with God's rules against lying?
3. What happens to Christian parents who die without repenting for the sin of lying?
4. How are we supposed to expect our children to always tell the truth if we don't lead by example?
Anyway, merry Christmas. I hope Santa brought you something nice.
Friday, December 25, 2015
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Relationshits
I have had three really meaningful romantic relationships in my life. The combination of those experiences and observation of the couples around me have made me doubtful about any desire to be in future relationships. In fact, I often find myself wondering why anybody dates at all, much less gets married anymore. Sound cynical? Read on.
The first experience was a positive one. My high school love, Abi, often feels like the one that got away. After five years of sheer bliss, God called her into the mission fields in India and she was gone. We were 19 when we scheduled our break up after a week long date in Hawaii. Now, she is married and has two kiddos. She always wanted kids, and now she has them. That's a lot of pressure. It's also pressure that I don't have to handle. We rarely talk about what could have been. It is fun to ponder, though.
My second true love was Monica, a college romance. I was both in love with her and in lust with her. She was my first... It was my 21st birthday. I'll never forget it. She gave me a Sensa pen and her virginity. My parents gave me a 36" TV. Win, win, win. I still have the pen and the TV. Three months into our relationship we decided that it was meant to last forever. Then, Monica transferred to Texas A&M and I caught her cheating on me. I will never forget how that felt. After that, my mom died and I freaked out and moved to Raleigh, North Carolina. I haven't spoken to Monica since, though I did send her an unanswered friend request on Facebook.
After a year of aimless wandering I landed in BFE, Ohio, where I met the third woman of my dreams, Sara. We dated for three years and married between her junior and senior year of college. Eighteen months later we were happily divorced. That was March of 2005. We stayed in touch for a long time, but I haven't seen her in two years or spoken to her in about six months. The entire time we were married, I wanted out. Don't get me wrong, there were definitely some good times, but they never really outweighed the bad. Do they ever?
Now, I am single. And I love it. I haven't been on date in almost five years. Why? Because I'm selfish? Frankly, I enjoy doing what I want to do, whenever I want to do it. I never have to compromise about restaurants, TV shows, movies, etc... I go to bed when I want to, wake up when I want to and only wear clothes when I want to.
Being single has allowed me to buy a BMW, live in a penthouse apartment with a lake view and write with a Mont Blanc. I have every Guitar Hero and Rock Band out and have completed the Winking Lizard's World Tour of Beer six times. I have also been to Vegas at least twice a year, and sometimes more. I spend whatever I want on whatever I want. How many arguments have I had about these decisions? Zero.
I have not gone to bed mad or been awakened at 2:00 AM by an irate person in five years. That alone makes it all worthwhile. I don't get the cold shoulder in the car, have conversations the neighbors can hear or worry about using all the hot water when I shower. I love being single so much I don't even have the urge to date. Does that even make sense? It probably does if you are trapped in a relationship, especially if it's a bad one, which statistically it probably is.
Oddly enough, it is the married folks that seem to have the biggest problem with those of us that choose to remain unhitched. Just because you suffer day in and day out doesn't mean I have to . In fact, you folks that are in relationships are not exactly the best sales people for your cause, either. You argue in public, bitch and moan about each other and gripe constantly about your in-laws. If you have kids, you tend to complain even more frequently. While you do have my sympathy, you have absolutely nothing that interests me, save maybe one thing. I miss spooning, but only sometimes.
I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss anything about being in a good relationship. There is nothing quite as nice as a good laugh with someone that you are snuggling with on the sofa. If, of course, you are watching something that you both want to, haven't been fighting over bills and don't smell bad. That's a lot to get right, but when it is, it's something magical. If all the time spent together could be as beautiful as moments like those are, I wouldn't be writing this right now.
That said, I'm not completely ruling out the possibility of a future former Mrs. Blaine, but I am most certainly not desperately seeking one. What I really need are some meaningful friendships with women. I need friends that are girls, not necessarily a girlfriend. And if I could meet one that wanted to do a little spooning (without the forking) then that would make my life complete. And who knows, maybe she will be the one to pull me out of my selfish funk and get me back into the land of the "normal." We'll see.
Until then, I will continue to play video games in my underwear (if that) and sleeping until noon.
The first experience was a positive one. My high school love, Abi, often feels like the one that got away. After five years of sheer bliss, God called her into the mission fields in India and she was gone. We were 19 when we scheduled our break up after a week long date in Hawaii. Now, she is married and has two kiddos. She always wanted kids, and now she has them. That's a lot of pressure. It's also pressure that I don't have to handle. We rarely talk about what could have been. It is fun to ponder, though.
My second true love was Monica, a college romance. I was both in love with her and in lust with her. She was my first... It was my 21st birthday. I'll never forget it. She gave me a Sensa pen and her virginity. My parents gave me a 36" TV. Win, win, win. I still have the pen and the TV. Three months into our relationship we decided that it was meant to last forever. Then, Monica transferred to Texas A&M and I caught her cheating on me. I will never forget how that felt. After that, my mom died and I freaked out and moved to Raleigh, North Carolina. I haven't spoken to Monica since, though I did send her an unanswered friend request on Facebook.
After a year of aimless wandering I landed in BFE, Ohio, where I met the third woman of my dreams, Sara. We dated for three years and married between her junior and senior year of college. Eighteen months later we were happily divorced. That was March of 2005. We stayed in touch for a long time, but I haven't seen her in two years or spoken to her in about six months. The entire time we were married, I wanted out. Don't get me wrong, there were definitely some good times, but they never really outweighed the bad. Do they ever?
Now, I am single. And I love it. I haven't been on date in almost five years. Why? Because I'm selfish? Frankly, I enjoy doing what I want to do, whenever I want to do it. I never have to compromise about restaurants, TV shows, movies, etc... I go to bed when I want to, wake up when I want to and only wear clothes when I want to.
Being single has allowed me to buy a BMW, live in a penthouse apartment with a lake view and write with a Mont Blanc. I have every Guitar Hero and Rock Band out and have completed the Winking Lizard's World Tour of Beer six times. I have also been to Vegas at least twice a year, and sometimes more. I spend whatever I want on whatever I want. How many arguments have I had about these decisions? Zero.
I have not gone to bed mad or been awakened at 2:00 AM by an irate person in five years. That alone makes it all worthwhile. I don't get the cold shoulder in the car, have conversations the neighbors can hear or worry about using all the hot water when I shower. I love being single so much I don't even have the urge to date. Does that even make sense? It probably does if you are trapped in a relationship, especially if it's a bad one, which statistically it probably is.
Oddly enough, it is the married folks that seem to have the biggest problem with those of us that choose to remain unhitched. Just because you suffer day in and day out doesn't mean I have to . In fact, you folks that are in relationships are not exactly the best sales people for your cause, either. You argue in public, bitch and moan about each other and gripe constantly about your in-laws. If you have kids, you tend to complain even more frequently. While you do have my sympathy, you have absolutely nothing that interests me, save maybe one thing. I miss spooning, but only sometimes.
I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss anything about being in a good relationship. There is nothing quite as nice as a good laugh with someone that you are snuggling with on the sofa. If, of course, you are watching something that you both want to, haven't been fighting over bills and don't smell bad. That's a lot to get right, but when it is, it's something magical. If all the time spent together could be as beautiful as moments like those are, I wouldn't be writing this right now.
That said, I'm not completely ruling out the possibility of a future former Mrs. Blaine, but I am most certainly not desperately seeking one. What I really need are some meaningful friendships with women. I need friends that are girls, not necessarily a girlfriend. And if I could meet one that wanted to do a little spooning (without the forking) then that would make my life complete. And who knows, maybe she will be the one to pull me out of my selfish funk and get me back into the land of the "normal." We'll see.
Until then, I will continue to play video games in my underwear (if that) and sleeping until noon.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
(dis)Comfort Zone
I'm not a terribly outgoing person. That's not completely true. It would be more appropriate to say that I'm not usually in social situations that give me an opportunity to meet new people. Once I'm in those situations, I tend to do well. When I get to know people, they usually like me.
So why does a person who is generally likable so apt to avoid social interaction? I don't know. Ask my friends and they'll tell you that I'm almost impossible to get to go out. But once I am out, I have a blast. This is where Twitter has come in, much to my pleasant surprise.
I've been introduced to people via Twitter that I feel like I know better than some of the folks I interact with every day. I get to communicate as I desire and am given the chance to use my wit at my discretion. Levity in brevity, I call it. Over the last three months I've become fond of my new pals. I really like my Twitter friends and, ironically, want to meet some of them in real life now.
That's right, Twitter has helped me warm up to people that I might otherwise have never met. Now I want to interact with them face-to-face. And, flatteringly enough, have had three people indicate their desire to meet me. I hesitate to call it surreal, but it is definitely unfamiliar ground. It is out of my Comfort Zone, for sure. In fact, it is solidly in my (dis)Comfort Zone. But, I have decided that I will do it. I will try to meet some of the people that I talk to on Twitter. IRL.
First, I will meet @kiwiberry, since we have gone from Twitter to Facebook to texting to talking on the phone. She saw a tweet from me on a trending topic and re-tweeted it. I saw that she lived close by and we started talking. Now we Skype daily and will possibly meet up at Star Wars: In Concert.
From there, who knows? Stay tuned for updates on the meet ups, or tweetups, as I believe they are called. We live in a world that seems to focus on converting analog to digital. I hope that by converting these digital relationships to analog, I can remain human, if not become a better one.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
