Relationshits

I have had three really meaningful romantic relationships in my life. The combination of those experiences and observation of the couples around me have made me doubtful about any desire to be in future relationships. In fact, I often find myself wondering why anybody dates at all, much less gets married anymore. Sound cynical? Read on.

The first experience was a positive one. My high school love, Abi, often feels like the one that got away. After five years of sheer bliss, God called her into the mission fields in India and she was gone. We were 19 when we scheduled our break up after a week long date in Hawaii. Now, she is married and has two kiddos. She always wanted kids, and now she has them. That's a lot of pressure. It's also pressure that I don't have to handle. We rarely talk about what could have been. It is fun to ponder, though.

My second true love was Monica, a college romance. I was both in love with her and in lust with her. She was my first... It was my 21st birthday. I'll never forget it. She gave me a Sensa pen and her virginity. My parents gave me a 36" TV. Win, win, win. I still have the pen and the TV. Three months into our relationship we decided that it was meant to last forever. Then, Monica transferred to Texas A&M and I caught her cheating on me. I will never forget how that felt. After that, my mom died and I freaked out and moved to Raleigh, North Carolina. I haven't spoken to Monica since, though I did send her an unanswered friend request on Facebook.

After a year of aimless wandering I landed in BFE, Ohio, where I met the third woman of my dreams, Sara. We dated for three years and married between her junior and senior year of college. Eighteen months later we were happily divorced. That was March of 2005. We stayed in touch for a long time, but I haven't seen her in two years or spoken to her in about six months. The entire time we were married, I wanted out. Don't get me wrong, there were definitely some good times, but they never really outweighed the bad. Do they ever?

Now, I am single. And I love it. I haven't been on date in almost five years. Why? Because I'm selfish? Frankly, I enjoy doing what I want to do, whenever I want to do it. I never have to compromise about restaurants, TV shows, movies, etc... I go to bed when I want to, wake up when I want to and only wear clothes when I want to.

Being single has allowed me to buy a BMW, live in a penthouse apartment with a lake view and write with a Mont Blanc. I have every Guitar Hero and Rock Band out and have completed the Winking Lizard's World Tour of Beer six times. I have also been to Vegas at least twice a year, and sometimes more. I spend whatever I want on whatever I want. How many arguments have I had about these decisions? Zero.

I have not gone to bed mad or been awakened at 2:00 AM by an irate person in five years. That alone makes it all worthwhile. I don't get the cold shoulder in the car, have conversations the neighbors can hear or worry about using all the hot water when I shower. I love being single so much I don't even have the urge to date. Does that even make sense? It probably does if you are trapped in a relationship, especially if it's a bad one, which statistically it probably is.

Oddly enough, it is the married folks that seem to have the biggest problem with those of us that choose to remain unhitched. Just because you suffer day in and day out doesn't mean I have to . In fact, you folks that are in relationships are not exactly the best sales people for your cause, either. You argue in public, bitch and moan about each other and gripe constantly about your in-laws. If you have kids, you tend to complain even more frequently. While you do have my sympathy, you have absolutely nothing that interests me, save maybe one thing. I miss spooning, but only sometimes.

I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss anything about being in a good relationship. There is nothing quite as nice as a good laugh with someone that you are snuggling with on the sofa. If, of course, you are watching something that you both want to, haven't been fighting over bills and don't smell bad. That's a lot to get right, but when it is, it's something magical. If all the time spent together could be as beautiful as moments like those are, I wouldn't be writing this right now.

That said, I'm not completely ruling out the possibility of a future former Mrs. Blaine, but I am most certainly not desperately seeking one. What I really need are some meaningful friendships with women. I need friends that are girls, not necessarily a girlfriend. And if I could meet one that wanted to do a little spooning (without the forking) then that would make my life complete. And who knows, maybe she will be the one to pull me out of my selfish funk and get me back into the land of the "normal." We'll see.

Until then, I will continue to play video games in my underwear (if that) and sleeping until noon.